So it has been a month since I was robbed at gunpoint in Rio and I’m pissed. I haven’t been the same since and I’m really not happy about it. I have been sad, depressed, grateful, angry, loved, and any other emotion you can think of. But today I am angry. Here is why:
I’m angry at the little bastard who put the gun in my face. How dare he.
I’m angry that some people in my life can’t see how broken I am right now.
I’m angry that because I am normally a strong woman some feel that I need to “get over it” and move on. Please tell me how I do that.
I’m angry that I am so angry.
I’m angry that panic attacks have become part of my life when before they were only something I had read about.
I’m angry that I get scared in unexpected situations and I have to talk myself down.
I’m angry that I have had to cut some people out of my life because they weren’t able to catch me when I asked for help as I felt myself falling.
I am very rarely vulnerable. I don’t normally write about emotions or how things make me feel but right now this is the only outlet I have to share what is going on with me.
I have been to therapy, that helped. And this is cathartic as well and I thank you for reading. I know that I will eventually be ok. I know that one day I will look back on this time and be grateful I got through it but right now I am not ok.